Saturday, January 31, 2015

1/31/15 - Got My Hair Did

I got my hair done!
Now that I'm in the second trimester, it's a lot safer to color your hair and thank god I made it because I had so many WHITE hairs it wasn't even funny.  I skip getting the grays and go straight to the whites.

I decided to do a demi-permanent hair color that contains no ammonia and doesn't have as many chemicals as a permanent hair dye.  It won't last as long as my normal permanent hair color but at least my roots are covered for now and it was extra safe for baby boy!

Then my hairdresser did some "color melt" on the ends which was sort of like a subtle ombre to give me a little kick.  I'm loving the color and after 6+ months, I really needed something different!

So here we are in week 16!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

1/28/15 - Week 16: Avocado

Today the baby is the size of...

I can't believe I'm at 16 weeks already! And our little boy is as big as one of my favorite foods. He seems so huge!!!

This week he is building muscle mass and can make facial expressions! And let him keep on growing so that damn placenta moves up already!

The spotting is so much better. It's still there but is brown in color which means it's technically old blood. I haven't noticed any new bleeding which is great. And the pressure has subsided and now I just feel some growing pains every now and then. Little Blackbird is getting big!

We see our doctor on Monday for another ultrasound and I'm sure he will say everything is looking great.

Can't wait for more sonogram photos!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

1/27/15 - Pregnancy Brain

If you've heard of pregnancy brain, trust me, it's real. It makes you forget things that you normally wouldn't. I read an article that said during pregnancy you actually lose brain cells! Of course I can't remember what it said about why...

Now I don't have the best memory to begin with, but I usually remember to bring my lunch bag home from work. Until pregnancy brain hits.
And I forget everything.
Like math.

Today I was setting up a meeting for 10:30am EST. 
Clearly I figured that would be 1:30pm PST. So I set the whole damn thing up and then realized...

10:30am EST is 7:30am PST.
Not 1:30pm PST.

I even counted on my fingers the 3 hour time difference.
I just went in the wrong direction!

Because I have no brain anymore.

Stay tuned for more because I'm sure this will happen again!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

1/24/15 - A Dry Run To The ER

Late last night I had a small amount of spotting. I had felt pressure and thought maybe it was because I ate too much. (How can I resist a meatball sandwich, mozzarella sticks and ice-cream?!) 

Well then there was a little more spotting this morning. And around noon it became even more and was getting reddish in color. All of this scared the shit out of me of course.

I had already been through this last month and thought now that I'm in the second trimester and the placenta moved up a little we were fine.

So I emailed my doctor out of an abundance of caution. He said he believes all is well but with feeling pressure and having some bleeding, I should go to the ER to get checked out. As soon as I read this I started crying. I have been through the spotting before and remembered that unless I have severe cramping (I do not) and excessive bleeding (I do not) then I should be fine. But reading a note from your doctor saying go to the ER is terrifying.

So we took deep breaths and drove to the hospital. We decided to call it a hospital labor and delivery dry run. Well maybe it was good we are here today because we parked at the wrong entrance! We thought it was the ER but when we got inside we had to walk pretty far just to get to the ER. As soon as we made it there we saw the other parking entrance. So thank god I wasn't in labor!

So by now we are checked in and have been here for about two hours waiting to be seen. At least that means I'm not life threatening. We know our little boy will be ok. We just want to know why there is bleeding and of course this happens on a Saturday, so therefore we end up in the ER. Let's hope I don't come back until I'm in labor and we are ready to meet our little miracle.

Several hours later....

After being here for 7 hours and now waiting to be discharged, here is what we learned today. The doctor asked me to come in because he was concerned about a condition where the cervix actually shortens. It happens around this week in pregnancy and my symptoms made him want to get this checked out. Luckily my doctor was on call so we got to see him! And he said if the cervix was shortening there are things they could do to help it.

Well thank god the cervix didn't shorten so we don't need to worry about that. I had an extensive ultrasound done and the baby looks great! His heart rate is perfect and they measured all parts of him and he is growing right on track. And we saw his little boy part!!!!! So there is no denying that this baby is a little boy!

The placenta is still low and I might have a vasa previa which means that part of the placenta, the outer most part that contains blood vessels, is on the cervix. So this can cause spotting. Then they did a pelvic exam and saw a small polyp on my cervix which can just happen naturally and isn't necessarily because of the pregnancy. The doctor said he isn't concerned with either of these things.  So I just have to take it easy. And I could have spotting for several more days but again as long as it isn't heavy bleeding and there is no severe cramping, I will be fine.

I see our doctor again in just over a week and he said that will be a great time to reevaluate.

So thank god all is well. And when we saw our little boy, I started crying. His heartbeat is normal and he is growing perfectly and he was moving around and we saw his fingers and he looks so much more like a baby. We love him so much and are so relieved he is ok.

ER dry run complete.
Let's not come back until we are in labor in July!

Friday, January 23, 2015

1/23/15 - Don't Do What I Just Did

Don't look at a ruler.
I just happened to look at my ruler and saw what 10 centimeters really looks like.

Somehow that is how big my body will stretch to get this little boy out.

Because no one thinks in centimeters, I converted this to inches.
Well, that's even more frightening:

Terrifying. With a capital T.

Well at least I have about six months before I have to deal with it plus one lovely epidural waiting for me!

And here's a new bump photo for the week!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

1/22/15 - I Needed That

Thank you to my dear little Blackbird. Just when I start having those crazy thoughts of "Is he still in there?" because I have gone too long without an ultrasound, he reminds me that he's just fine!

Something happened this week and it includes a growing and now prominent baby bump as well as a free boob job! My body is unrecognizable and I'm loving it! I'm going to have to buy new bras soon and it's the best thing ever!

There is no doubt that I'm pregnant and I know he's hanging out in there moving all around and sucking his thumb.

Of course I'm still counting down the days until my ultrasound but this certainly helps in the meantime!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

1/21/15 - Week 15: Navel Orange

Today the baby is the size of...

I can't believe this little boy is so big already. He now has eyebrows and his boy parts are continuing to develop! Usually you can't see them on an ultrasound for two more weeks but we already know from that awesome blood test!

I can't feel anything yet but he is moving around in there and even wiggling his fingers and toes. We are so excited to meet this tiny little guy. Without a doubt the only guy who has stolen my heart!

It's still hard to believe this is happening and it all seems to happen so fast. Especially with him being orange-sized already!  I think part of it is because I waited so long for this to happen. I wanted it so badly. And now that it's finally here, our little miracle, I'm afraid something will happen and it will be taken away. It's hard to 100% let go and be completely happy and know that this is really happening. I keep thinking, "Let me see him one more time in another ultrasound." I want to make sure he's ok in there!

I know that as the weeks and months go on, this will become more and more real and I will feel more confident that this is happening and that it's ok to celebrate.

But for now, can I just have my own ultrasound machine please?!?!

Monday, January 19, 2015

1/19/15 - Bump Around!

I can't believe I'm 14 weeks pregnant.

I feel like I suddenly crossed back into a state of shock. Like is this really happening? Are we really having a baby? A healthy baby boy? Is he still in there?!

I have 2 weeks left until my ultrasound and I'm dying to see this little cutie! 
I feel so comforted when I see our baby Blackbird and know that he's ok. 

But until then... 
Is this real?!?!?!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

1/15/15 - Snuggle With The Snoogle

After getting a recommendation from one of my friends, I invested in a SNOOGLE.  It's a pregnancy body pillow that helps alleviate pressure on your back, including your sciatica!

Someone else also loves the Snoogle:

I've used it only for one night but it is really comfortable.  And it twists around and you can put it in different positions.  I'm sure it will really come in handy in a few months from now!

In other news.... I need to find this somewhere on the internet where I can buy it because I can't even deal with the cuteness!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

1/14/15 - Week 14: Lemon

Welcome to the second trimester!
Today the baby is the size of...

I feel my body stretching so much. This little boy is growing like crazy! I can't believe we are in the second trimester. I feel like it will be July before we know it.

Right now the baby is making more fluid movements and he has hair all over his body! It is to keep him warm and he will lose most of it before birth. He really looks like a baby now and is the size of my clenched fist. It seems so big! He can also suck his thumb right now!

I can't believe he is so tiny, 3" long and is doing all of these amazing things.
Our little miracle.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

1/13/15 - It's A...

Last night we had the most amazing night. Julia and I went out to dinner and after we ordered we both felt that it was time to reveal the baby's gender. I was so nervous and anxious that in a matter of seconds we would know what we are having!

Yesterday after talking to the doctor, she asked me if we want to know the gender. I said we did but I asked her to tell my friend who will also be our doula. So I handed off the phone, walked away and suddenly my friend knew what the baby inside of me was and I didn't! She wrote it down and gave it to me in a special card.

Julia and I slowly opened the card because I didn't want to see anything prematurely.

My friend has quite a sense of humor ;)

Then I slowly peeled this tape back to reveal...

We both fell back in our seats and said together, "Oh My God!" 
I was so sure it was a girl. Nearly my entire family thought it was a girl. 
My grandmother bought the baby a pink rattle for Christmas, that's how sure she was! 
The title of this blog used to be pink, that's how sure I was!

So after the initial shock wore off of being completely wrong, we started talking about our life with this little boy. Little boys love their mommies and he will have two of them. We are going to raise a good man for this world and feel honored to have the opportunity to do so.

Our baby Blackbird.
Our little boy.
Suddenly everything is becoming more real. We are having a baby and he is healthy! We are so excited.

Fixing things around the house.
Soccer games.
Orange slices.

We would have done all of these things with a baby girl. But now we know the gender and it's so much fun to picture our life with him. He is already so loved and we can't wait to meet him.

It's also special because the name we had chosen for a boy comes from my side of the family. So that is a gift I can give to him. That makes me feel extra special as he and I continue this journey of pregnancy.

Cheers to our healthy little boy!

Monday, January 12, 2015

1/12/15 - A Sigh Of Relief

We finally (after two impatient weeks of waiting) got our final genetic blood test back. They had taken my blood and checked a ton of chromosome abnormalities that the baby could have, including Down syndrome and Edwards syndrome. They also tested for 8 micro deletions that could be a result of doing the ICSI process when the eggs were fertilized.

All came back negative.
Blackbird is healthy and doing just fine!!!

I got off the phone with the doctor and it all washed over me. I started tearing up at my desk. We had complete confidence that everything was fine and Blackbird was healthy. But to get that call and have the confirmation was such a relief.

And we now can know the baby's gender because they tested for X and Y chromosomes. The result was conclusive so it's one or the other!

We have the answer written down and tonight, Julia and I are going out to dinner (Italian food, I can't wait!) and we will open the envelope!

I'm so excited to know! This will bring everything together and now we can picture our life with this healthy baby boy or baby girl.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

1/8/15 - Sciatic-AHHH You're Killing Me

A few days ago I started noticing some pain in my left ass cheek and it would run down my thigh. Well welcome to sciatica during pregnancy! I read it usually starts in the third trimester but we know I'm an overachiever. So maybe my body wanted to do it sooner and "better".

If I am sitting down I'm fine, but if I stand still for a little bit and then try to walk there is intense pain. It's from all of the extra weight and fluid and blood that's now in my lower abdomen area and it presses on the sciatic nerve and pinches it. How lovely!

I'm trying to do some stretches and will soon start prenatal yoga. 
Yes, you read that right. 
The girl who refused to do yoga her entire life is finally on board and desperate to try it for some exercise and additional flexibility!

By the way as I type this I feel like my belly has just doubled in size. 
Blackbird is growing for sure and I can feel it. 
All of it. !!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

1/7/15 - Week 13: Peach

Today the baby is the size of...

(So peaches aren't in season, but here is a small orange and the baby is a tiny bit smaller than this!)

For the second trimester, instead of a quarter, we will be comparing the baby to the size of a SOFTBALL! Somehow it seems very appropriate...

I learned that fingernails are developing and the intestines that were once inside the umbilical cord are now moving into the baby's abdomen. Ca-razy!

I'm still waiting rather impatiently for the genetics blood test results for all the other chromosomes they tested. And specifically the sex chromosome!

I have felt 100% about one specific gender throughout this entire pregnancy. So we will see if I have some mother's intuition or if I'm completely and totally wrong!  I think once we know the sex, everything will suddenly become very real.

So. Excited. !!!!!!!

Monday, January 5, 2015

1/5/15 - New Doctor

Today we met with our new OB who will be our doctor for the remainder of the pregnancy. He is so nice and everyone in the office was lovely.

And I had an ultrasound! My favorite thing! We saw Blackbird moving around like crazy cause they were pushing on my belly. Blackbird was like, "Yo I'm sleeping in here!"

They did a big test for Down syndrome by measuring the amount of fluid in the back of the baby's neck. How someone thought of that test and correlation, I have no idea! They said Down's babies have a higher amount of fluid and will have a number greater than 3. We had 1.47 so they are not concerned and they said everything looks beautiful!

There was a large projection of the image on the wall and I started tearing up (again!) because it looks so much like a baby! Blackbird is in there and the heart is beating and everything is perfect! I still can't believe this is happening sometimes. The baby is only about 2 inches long but so many things are fully formed and we could see the nose and arms and legs moving around. They said that the placenta has moved up a little and isn't covering the cervix anymore. It is still low but has moved from the last scan. Which would explain why I haven't really had spotting in several days thank god. I think it might be moving on up!

Hopefully by the end of this week we will have the other genetic blood results that also check for Down's and measure that with some 99%+ accuracy. I really am not concerned that Blackbird has any chromosome abnormalities. I believe deep down that this is meant to be and everything will progress as it should.

And now somehow I have to wait 4 weeks until the next ultrasound! I joked about buying our own ultrasound machine... But I wasn't really joking!

I also had to get a Rhogam shot today. Because my blood type is A- and the doctors assume that the baby's blood is +, I need a shot that gives me the positive antibodies. This will not affect this pregnancy but helps protect our next baby. Like when you get a cold for the first time, your body doesn't know what it is. But the second time it tries to fight it. So because I don't have the positive antibodies, I might see the next pregnancy as a threat and try to fight it. All of this science is so amazing to me.

Ultrasound countdown = 4 weeks

Sunday, January 4, 2015

1/4/15 - Cravings

Happy 2015! 
I'm watching some football playoff games and am craving the following things... 
And when I say craving I don't just mean it would be nice to have them. 

"Grandma" style pizza from Joe's in Hollywood

In-N-Out well done French fries

Two chicken nuggets from Wendy's with real honey

McDonald's hash brown with lots of ketchup

Dark chocolate cupcake from Sprinkles

Vanilla and chocolate milkshake

Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts

Coke - fountain soda style