Thursday, October 29, 2015

Thursday 10/29/15 – Week 14: Happy Halloween, Our Lion Boy

Lion King pants!

We had Halloween dress up in Mommy and Me class today!

I mean how adorable are these babies!

Evan is a little lion this year since he’s our leo.

Some of the moms were talking about going back to work.  
And it dawned on me.  
This would have been my first full week back since he’s 3 months old now.
I just can’t even imagine.  It’s so far from my mind.

We are so lucky and I’m so grateful to be able to stay home with our boy.  Hopefully I won’t have to get a job for at least a little while. I would like to stay at home as long as possible. 

I’ll get involved in his school and activities.  Hell, I’ll run the sh*t out of the PTA!

Saturday 10/31/15 – Last year on Halloween it was raining in LA. 
Julia and I went out to dinner and we made a toast.
To Baby Miranda.

We were praying the embryo transfer we had done days before would take. I was dreaming about Halloween the following year. I was trying not to be too hopeful in case of disappointment, but it was hard not to think about my baby dressed up in a costume.

It's one year later and we can say Happy Halloween to our Evan. 
We love you so much our little lion boy.

Of course I had to recreate The Lion King
Simba Boy!

The family lion pride!

Monday 11/2/15 – Today while I was pushing Evan in the stroller and walking Frankie, it started RAINING!

I’m always so surprised when it rains out here.  It hardly ever does so every time I’m in denial.

Luckily the stroller has a canopy so I could cover my boy up.  
Frankie and I were another story.  Wet dogs!

Can’t complain too much since the weather is finally starting to cool down.  We are all ready for fall and winter!

Tuesday 11/3/15 – It’s sweater weather!

Too bad wearing a sweater won’t allow me to get cozy enough to fall asleep.
Last night we got no sleep.  

Evan woke up at 1:30am and again at 5:00am.  I know compared to what some parents are going through, that’s a good night.  But for us, it is not good!

He had woken so many times that he ended up in his Merlin Magic Sleep Suit in his crib and I just slept in the glider at one point.  It was easier than going back and forth from our room to his.

"Let me think about this 'sleeping at night' that you speak of."

Evan says, "F sleeping at night..."

My mom is out to visit for a week!  
Evan and I picked her up at the airport and he was such a good boy… until the ride home that is.

I fed him in baggage claim and thought a full belly would allow us to have a decent ride home.  I think he was sick and tired of being in his car seat.  At one point I pulled over because he was crying so hard he was going to hyperventilate!

Once we got home and he could be held, he was happy as a clam.

Today was a big day for our boy.  Since he’s 3 months old now, we switched him from the NEWBORN formula to the INFANT formula.  He will be on this formula now until he’s a year old.

He’s really growing so fast!  I can’t take it!

Evan and Ashton getting better acquainted

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Thursday 10/22/15 – Week 13: He’s Got The Magic Suit

"Watchu talkin' about Willis?!"

Today I skipped my mommy and me class and took Evan to the doctor.  

He’s had a cough the past several days and even though he didn’t have a fever or mucus, I wanted the doctor to listen to his chest.  Poor baby would wake up in the morning with this awful mucus sounding cough but nothing would come out.  I didn’t want it to turn into bronchitis or something crazy.  And he’s so tiny that I knew I would feel better once he was checked out.

On the way to the doctor, I was driving along and explaining to Evan what we were doing. I explained how we had to walk through a special door in the hallway for this visit. 

It was the first time we had to walk through the NOT WELL entrance.  
It killed me.  I wanted him to feel better and not be sick!

Then, I swore I heard thunder.

Oh no.
It wasn’t thunder.
It was Evan.


I get into the exam room and take him out of his car seat and I knew. 

I knew exactly what he had in store for me.

He’s recently only been pooping once a day, so when he does, it’s epic.

The doctor walked in and I’m elbow deep in baby sh*t and I said, “I might need another minute.”

Luckily we had a change of clothes with us!  Evan left in a brand new outfit!

The doctor checked him out and said he just had a cold.  There was nothing to worry about. 
He suggested we elevate his bassinet mattress a little by placing a pillow or something underneath one side of the mattress (not underneath Evan).  Also, we should get a cool mist humidifier. 

I felt so much better knowing that his chest was fine.  But I feel awful that he is sick to begin with. 

There is a small voice in my head reminding me that formula fed babies get colds easier than breastfed babies. 

Well… I’m telling that voice to shut the f*ck up.

Friday 10/23/15 – Evan is 3 months old today!
I can’t believe the time has gone by so fast.  We love you, our big boy!

Saturday 10/24/15 – We went to a pumpkin patch today!

It was almost an hour away, but I wanted to start a new tradition with our son.  This farm was huge and they have animals and hayrides and tons of things that Evan will love in a few years.  I kept thinking about going there next year.  A year goes by so fast.  He will be almost 1 ½.  So unbelievable.

Tonight Julia and I went out to dinner.

Without Evan.

Just the two of us.

We got a babysitter!!!!!

We walked out the front door and towards the car and it felt so weird. 

Beyond weird.  Like we were forgetting something. 

I felt naked.

Like the feeling when you leave your cell phone at home.

Your very, very, very important cell phone.

We missed him at dinner.  Our phones stayed on the table in case the babysitter had a question or emergency.

Of course she was just fine and never called.

We had a lovely dinner complete with a cocktail and some wine!

It was strange though being out to dinner.  It reminded me of how it used to be.  But it felt weird all at the same time.  Because everything is different now.

It was a great day and special first dinner date as mommies. 

I’ve missed my wife. 

It’s important to us to find time to focus just on the two of us.  In the beginning with Evan when he needed us literally around the clock, this was very hard.  Basically impossible.  Marriage takes a back seat with a newborn.

Now we can work in some more mommy time.

This foxy boy approves!

Tuesday 10/27/15 – Today is a very special day.

Exactly one year ago, we did our embryo transfer of Julia’s biological embryo into me.  
Here’s a link to my blog entry from that day one year ago.

It’s crazy to think that one year ago I was laying down on the couch playing Farmville to take my mind off of the fact that I was hopefully in the process of getting pregnant. I was praying that this tiny embryo would implant in my body and attach to me.

I remember trying to take it easy and relax while doing meditation to prepare me mentally for what was happening inside my body.

Well, it all worked.

And today we have our miracle.

Our Evan.

We couldn't ask for anything more.

We did it.

And Evan can now roll from his stomach to his back!
Here he is in action!

Wednesday 10/28/15 – Dear Lord today is a rough day.  Sometimes it’s hard to complain, but today has definitely been rough. 

Let’s start with this morning when Julia was leaving to go to work and she left her sneakers on to get something from our bedroom.  We didn’t realize it until she left that the cat had taken a sh*t on the floor and she stepped in it and now there was cat poop all the way back to our bedroom carpet!!!

Our WHITE bedroom carpet!!!

When you have a baby, any minor inconvenience such as this is suddenly THE BIGGEST F*CKING DEAL EVER.  It’s hard enough taking care of a baby, let alone having to scrub cat sh*t out of the carpet.

We had scheduled someone to come take a look at our air conditioning unit and replace the filter.  I used to do all of these types of things before Evan and just don’t have the time or energy anymore.

Whenever anyone comes over and I’m alone, I now have to carry Evan and walk all the way downstairs.  Our building is too complicated to expect strangers to find their way to our door.

So as soon as the technician and I approach our door, our dog Frankie starts barking his head off. 

He’s going insane and Evan is squirming in my arms and I’m trying to explain where our AC unit is.

The technician was a little strange and claimed he saw mold on our filter and tried to sell me a UV light to go inside our unit for $695!!!!

My mind exploded.

There was no chance I was buying this thing for $700!  And you’re telling me we have MOLD?!!!!!!

I asked about bringing in a mold specialist and of course he thought we were ok for now but should have the light.  So automatically I know something is up here.  If the mold is really an issue, we would need a mold company to come take care of it.

Thanks for taking one look at this housewife/stay at home mom and trying to pull one over on me!

Not gonna happen!

Then he was about to leave and he dropped something.  I looked over and saw that it was a small brush and black residue was now on my floor…NEXT TO WHERE EVAN LAYS DOWN TO TAKE HIS NAP!

All I can think of is…..

Does that small brush contain said mold?

Are there now mold particles on the floor?

Are they in Evan’s sleeping area?


I never paid a bill so fast.

Later in the afternoon, someone starts knocking on our door.

Whenever anyone walks down our hallway, our dog barks.  So a knock at the door is an entire barking session.

Of course Frankie’s barking startles Evan, so he starts crying.


No one ever knocks on our door when I’m sitting in the living room with nothing to do.

No, they knock on our door when I’m TOPLESS AND BREASTFEEDING MY BABY.

Clearly, I’m not going to answer the door.

They keep knocking.

I yell, “I can’t come to the door!”

They say, “I just wanted to tell you that you have a package downstairs in the lobby.”

It’s one of our annoying neighbors. 

One I really don’t like.

Thanks a million!


Throughout the day, Evan has been eating almost every 2 hours.  He had been eating closer to every 3 hours.

He even had 6 ounces at one point, when he normally only eats 4.

If I try and put him down, he cries.

He’s been in my arms literally all day long.

It’s 4pm and I haven’t peed or eaten anything.

Then finally, Evan passed out.

Thank you Jesus.

He slept for an hour and let me put him down.  I slept on the couch watching over him in his rock ‘n play.  When he woke up, he was in a good mood and we took the dog for a walk.

Things seem better now. 

Sleep makes everything better!

Speaking of sleep, we heard about something that apparently helps you get sleep with a baby.

Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit.

It essentially turns your baby into a Michelin man.

He can’t really move too much in this and the material is thick so each of his limbs are kind of swaddled. 

He had been breaking his arms out of every swaddle item we had.  And when he gets his arms free, he wakes up.

Well the only trick with the Magic Sleep Suit is that the baby can only wear it while sleeping in the CRIB.  He wouldn’t fit with his arms extended in our bassinet anyway. 

We weren’t quite 100% ready to transition him into the crib in his room just yet, but we were quite ready to get more sleep!

So I proposed sleeping in the glider chair for the night.  It reclines and really wasn’t too bad.  This way I could be in the room with Evan if he woke up and I could look in on him in his crib if I got worried.

Well, he slept like a champion.

Almost 9 hours!

I think this is the start of him sleeping alone in his room like a big boy.

He’s growing up so fast.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Thursday 10/15/15 – Week 12: Angel Boy

"Um, excuse me.  I'm 12 weeks old today!"

Mommy and me class Week 3!

Evan fell asleep as soon as we got to the class.  After having screamed in the car the whole way there, he was tired!

Then he woke up about an hour in and was hungry.

So I opened my bag and took out….


All was fine and Evan was happy that he got to eat.  Afterwards some of the moms and I went out to lunch.  We strolled up the street and took over the front area of a restaurant.  It looked like valet parking for strollers.

While we sat and ate, someone brought up formula.  I immediately said that Evan is mostly on formula and felt so good that I talked about it. 

And imagine my surprise when some of the moms said they were thinking of trying it!

I found out that today is infant and pregnancy loss awareness day.  I couldn’t help but think about how lucky we are. 

I looked into Evan’s eyes and started crying.  I told him how special he is and what a miracle he is. 
Julia and I went on this journey to have a baby and had our bumps along the way.  But then I got pregnant with Evan and it’s hard not to think about how easily I could have lost him.  So many things had to come together perfectly to create him and keep him growing to be a healthy baby boy.

He’s here.  Our miracle.  It was meant to be and he was more than worth the wait.

Friday 10/16/15 – Last night Evan went 8.5 hours between feedings!

We went out to lunch today to meet a friend of mine and her son.  He and Evan are 3 weeks apart. The last time we saw each other, we were pregnant and having lunch together.  My how things have changed!

On the way home, he fell asleep in his car seat.

So that means….


Monday 10/19/15 – Last night Evan went 8.5 hours again between feedings.
Evan is amazing.

How did we make this happen?
So much is trial and error.  But we have a new routine that might be working.

5:00pm – Start clusterfeeding.  We offer him a bottle every 2 hours and he is usually hungry and drinks almost all of it.

10:30pm – Bath time.

11:00pm – One last bottle before bed.

Then he sleeps until 6:30am or 7am!

He will sometimes sleep between the evening cluster feedings too.  It’s tricky to eat dinner if he’s awake and fussy, but we get sleep at night.  So we’ll take it!

Tuesday 10/20/15 – Evan went 10 hours between feedings last night!


I keep calling him ANGEL BOY. 
He is my angel boy but I’m afraid he might start thinking that’s his name!!!
God I love this kid.

Wednesday 10/21/15 – Today I organized a lunch with some of the moms from the mommy and me class.  Four of us met for lunch and it was nice to get out of the house.

The great thing about the class is meeting these other woman who know EXACTLY what I’m going through. 

And then during lunch, one of the moms said she wants to start giving her baby formula!  It feels like I’m starting a revolution.

I feel better talking about it and the most important thing is that we are feeding our babies.  If my talking openly about it helps some moms feel more comfortable or free to ask questions, then I feel good about myself.

Mommy high five!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Thursday 10/8/15 – Week 11: Holy Jesus, He’s Gonna Blow!

Foxy boy

Mommy and me Week 2!

Class went well… and I might actually like some of the moms!  This is huge!

Some of them went out to lunch after the class today.  I said I would join them next week, God help me.

I brought my formula bottle and put it in a freezer bag to keep it cold.  So that way I could pull out the bottle at any moment during class and feed it to him.  I didn’t have to worry about mixing or pouring anything. 

I have to get over this formula shame that I have.  It’s hard when all the moms whip out their boobs or their pumped breast milk to feed their babies.  I know that as I get more comfortable with the moms and the class, it will get easier.

"For sure, Mommy!"

Sunday 10/11/15 – We are still working on our routine.  Evan was up after only 4 ½ hours and the night before it was 4 hours.  That is a far cry from the 7+ we were getting. 
The hardest part is getting sleep and then having it TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU!
I think the routine can still work.  We just have to stick with it.

This morning our friends had their baby baptized so we went to the church and reception afterwards.  During the passing of the peace section of church, an older man came right up to Evan and touched his head and kissed him!

How do people think it’s ok to just GRAB babies and KISS them?!
I had a mild heart attack and remembered that he already had his shots.  It’s still unnerving because he’s so little.

Another woman came up to chat with us and specifically said, “I won’t touch him but he’s so adorable!”  THANK YOU!

At the reception afterwards, everything was going smoothly…

Until it wasn’t.

Julia picked Evan up from his car seat to hold him and she felt something wet.

Real wet.

Oh yes, we have a blowout!

We took him to the bathroom and not only did he need an outfit change, but so did my wife! 

What we were thinking while we pulled his pants off:  “Holy f*ck, that’s a lot of sh*t!”
What we said:  “Oh, good boy!  You must feel better!”

What we were thinking as we got out the baby wipes:  “We only have 3 wipes left in the container---F*CKKKKKKK!”
What we said:  “Your mommies are going to get you all cleaned up!”

What we were thinking as other people started coming into the bathroom and my wife’s shirt is covered in baby sh*t:  “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
What we said:  “Almost finished here and then we get to put on a fun new outfit!”

Of course we didn’t bring a change of clothes for us, so it was then time to leave!


Monday 10/12/15 – Today was the first time I had to walk the dog in the afternoon.  
With Evan.  
We had a dog walker helping out and I finally got to the point where I felt I could handle the walk around the block with the hills.  I also wanted to try and get some exercise so it was time.
Walking the dog and pushing the stroller is fun and tricky all at once.  The hills were tough but we made it.

In the 100 degree weather. 

Can it please be fall soon?!?!

Ready for sweater weather!

Tuesday 10/13/15 – Evan had been pooping once a day but today we got 3!  And the last one was the perfect bright yellow color!

Last night we didn’t get any sleep.  He kept waking up so maybe our routine isn’t working after all.  I felt guilty because Julia has to work all day and I know she needs her sleep.  But she’s so good about helping in the middle of the night.  She knows I will function better the next day if I get some sleep, too. 

One of us will try to calm him down and rock him back to sleep and if that doesn’t work, we switch.

I’m in a few mommy groups on Facebook and it’s so sad to hear women vent about their partners not helping AT ALL with their babies.  I’m so lucky to have a supportive spouse.  She works all day and gets home and the first thing she says is, “What can I do?” 

Today Evan and I had a good walk with Frankie.  We are getting the hang of this.  And I’m enjoying the fresh air.

Evan held his head up so high during tummy time today.  He kept it up almost the whole time!  So proud of our boy!

Wednesday 10/14/15 – Evan is really exploring his toys during tummy time.  While he’s laying on the mat on his back, he opens his hands to grasp them and move them back and forth.  It’s amazing to watch him learn and discover new things.

He also learned to grab his rattle and shake it!
Genius boy!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Thursday 10/1/15 – Week 10: International Evan

Singing Evan!

Today was the first week of the Mommy & Me class Jules signed me up for.  
Oh boy.  I was not looking forward to this too much.

The class is every Thursday in the mornings and I’m not so good with mornings.  That’s the one time of the day where I feel really rushed.  So if I try to get out the door before noon, expect me to be late.  

I have to somehow get myself ready but also make sure Evan is fed, changed, clothed and not screaming!  And his hair has to be brushed of course!

I walked into the class and was surprisingly only 3 minutes late.

I see boobs.
All around the room.
Moms are breastfeeding their babies.
“Oh dear god here we go,” I thought.

It wasn’t a breastfeeding class but I already felt like the odd man out knowing that I have god forsaken FORMULA in my diaper bag.

“Please don’t get hungry, Evan,” I prayed.

Well my boy was so good in this first class.  He slept for part of the class and didn’t get hungry or need a diaper change.
He enjoyed the part of class where we learned new songs and got to sing to our babies.

I couldn’t handle much else this morning!

I have my reservations about some of these women but all in all I think it will be a good thing and each week we will discuss a new topic.

Evan was looking at the baby girl next to me and was smiling at her.
Maybe we’ll end up making some friends.

Friday 10/2/15 – Today I had plans for lunch.
I was going to actually go out into the world with my son and dine with someone.
Sounds like a fairytale but this was real life!

Evan's ready for lunch!

The restaurant wasn’t far, and 5 minutes into the car ride we were still doing ok.
I was talking to Evan and letting him know where we were going and what we were doing.

Minute 6 = a meltdown.
He had eaten not that long ago, but suddenly he was screaming.

Was he hungry?
Actually hungry?
Dirty diaper?
Car sick?
Missing mommy?
Dear god why is he crying!

It’s the worst thing when your baby is crying in the back seat and you are driving.
Even if I pulled over to give him a pacifier, it would fall out in a few seconds and I wouldn’t be able to put it back in.

I talked to him some more.
I sang songs.
I tried to reach my hand back to touch him and comfort him.
No dice.

I pulled onto a side street and got him out of the car.
And when he wouldn’t stop crying, I figured f*ck it.  It’s bottle time!

So I fed my boy on the sidewalk today.
I was over an hour late for lunch.
Luckily the friend I was meeting was completely flexible so it wasn’t a big deal at all.  

Being anywhere on time is so difficult.  Evan runs the show!   If he needs something, forget about everything else!

He drank less than an ounce and passed out.
Ahhhhhh – he was tired.  That was it.

He slept through a delicious sushi lunch and the walk back to the car.
Of course halfway home, he woke up in the car and started crying because now he was actually hungry!
AND he had a dirty diaper.
Let’s just say there were multiple outfit changes today.

And now we're all exhausted!

Saturday 10/3/15 – Two of our dear friends are getting married in January in Mexico.  We had been debating if we should go or not. 
Can we handle international travel with a 5 month old?
Are we insane to leave the US with a little baby?
Is he too young?
We kept weighing the pros and cons and decided we should go for it.  Everyone says to travel now before he can walk because it's just easier.
We know we want to travel with him anyway and I figured the only way to get used to that is to do it!  I didn’t want to look back on this opportunity and regret not going and being there on such a special day.
So in order to get on the plane, Evan needs a passport.
He is only 2 months old and is getting a passport.  I wish I were as cool as Evan!

Is this not the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?!

After the photo, we went to lunch.  He slept in the stroller the whole time.

We must have been high on our sandwiches because we then thought it was a good idea to go to Target.
It’s never a good idea to go to Target.  
Especially on a SATURDAY!

I had to return some things so we waited in the return line.  
As soon as we approached the register, Evan started crying.  It was time to eat!
Jules picked him up and took off with the diaper bag.

She ended up preparing the bottle one handed while she held our screaming boy.  By the time I found her, she was stressed and Evan was gulping down the bottle.

Everything worked out and once he was fed we walked around the store.  He was smiling and cooing the whole time.  This boy loves to eat and once you feed him, he’s happy!

Every time we go out and he happens to get hungry or need a diaper change will help us learn how to handle these situations.  Otherwise we will be leaving the house for 90 minutes and coming home again to take care of something!

You can do it Moms!

Monday 10/5/15 – Today hasn’t been the easiest day.
Evan is eating every 2-3 hours AROUND THE CLOCK.

So I did what any mom would do.
I went straight to GOOGLE!

And apparently there can be a 10 week growth spurt.

As most of these growth spurts go, they last 3-4 days.  Evan has been so hungry all day and I think that’s exactly what’s happening.

Maybe after this growth spurt he will sleep more?!!
Hey, a mom can dream!

Tuesday 10/6/15 – Julia and I tried to go out to lunch today.  
Well, we DID end up going out to lunch, but Evan cried in the car most of the time.

He’s fine in the car as long as we’re moving.
Which really isn’t a problem because there’s never any traffic in Los Angeles.


He used to fall right asleep in the car but now he’s more aware of his surroundings and realizes that WE AREN’T THERE IN THE BACKSEAT WITH HIM!

Sometimes Julia will sit in the back just to try and keep him calm for a few extra minutes.  

Another newfound trick is the SUNROOF!  
He likes the light and can see the clouds and sun and that distracts him sometimes. 

The bottom line is that anything that gives you even an extra minute of a happy baby = a freaking lifesaver.

Wednesday 10/7/15 – We have been working on a routine at night that seems to work. 
This parenting stuff is all about trial and error.

6:30pm = breastfeed Evan.  He doesn’t get a full feeding amount when I breastfeed him, but it tides him over for a little while.
7:00pm = bath time.  The bath is key because it makes him SLEEPY!
7:30pm = bottle to fill him up.
8:00pm = bed time in his CRIB!

Now mommies can eat dinner, do the dishes or laundry and not have to worry about waking this sweet little boy!

10:30pm = dream feed.  We give him another bottle and he’s still mostly asleep.  Julia usually gives him this bottle so I can take a shower.  She holds him and he opens his mouth and drinks the bottle but his eyes are still closed.  He makes this little fishy face as he drinks and I pop my head into the nursery just to watch.  It’s the cutest thing ever.

Then he will hopefully sleep until 5am or so!

This seems to be working for the past few nights and it looks like we are out of the growth spurt!

Mommy WIN!

I mean... I can't handle the cuteness.