Sunday, April 5, 2015

4/5/15 - Happy Easter Bump!

Today I decided what better way to spend my Easter than to go to a torture... I mean YOGA class!
Some classes were canceled because of the holiday, but no matter how many times I checked the schedule, my prenatal class was still on.

So I got ready and arrived at the class about ten minutes early.

I walked up to door and it was LOCKED.
I was the only one there and I thought, "Oh isn't this great! I drive myself all the way over here and they're not even open!"

Then another girl shows up.  And another one.  And then about five more.
So now there are a bunch of pregnant chicks standing in the warm sun outside of the studio.

I'd just started the five minute countdown to throwing in the mat, when a Prius arrives and double parks.

The yoga teacher walks out and says, "Oh, hi.  It's been a horrible morning."
I'm like, "Well no shit, you're late!!!"

Then she proceeds to say that she doesn't have the KEYS to the STUDIO.  So I'm about to turn around and go back to my car, when she remembers there is a lockbox with studio keys in it.  After trying a few of them, the door opens and we are all inside.
FINALLY.

As soon as we get into the room, one of the pregnant chicks starts talking to me.  She had just mentioned that she is 31 weeks into her pregnancy.

Then she turns to me and says, "How far are you?  You must be close!"
"No.  I'm 25 weeks," I reply.
She said, "Oh, I didn't mean to say that!  I'm so sorry!"
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE!
I guess my all black slimming yoga outfit didn't do the trick!

Finally class starts (a good ten minutes late) and we sit down and do our introductions with our name, what week we are on, blah blah blah.

I said my name and that I was 25 weeks and feeling fine.
Like, let's move on and start this damn class!

Well, the chick next to me introduces herself and says she is 39 weeks.
I look at her baby bump.
MINE IS BIGGER THAN HERS.
LIKE CLEARLY BIGGER.
Thanks.  So glad you sat down next to me.

When the support group session is finally over, we start the yoga class.  Throughout the class we did so many freaking PLANKS, it was unbelievable.

During one set of planks, I look over at Miss 39 Weeks and see that SHE DOES A FREAKING PUSH-UP DURING HER PLANK.

Are you f*&%ing kidding me?!
I wanted to lift her shirt up and see if she was even pregnant!
I mean COME ON.
What's in there?
A KITTEN?
YOU'RE TINY.

Despite this torture session, we had a pretty nice day and here is my Easter bump!

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