Thursday, November 27, 2014

11/27/14 - Week 7: Blueberry

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year we have a very special extra something to be thankful for. We are so excited to be mommies and feel so grateful that we are finally on the track to get us there.

We have such wonderful family members who support us and such incredible friends.  We are feeling truly blessed and very thankful everyday. 

Today the baby is the size of....

Friday, November 21, 2014

11/21/14 - 112 Beats Per Minute!

We heard the heartbeat today!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't that nervous about this appointment believe it or not because I felt like Blackbird was ok. I just felt confident that everything would be alright and we wouldn't get to this point and have something bad happen. This is our journey and this baby is meant to be!

Our doctor pulled up the ultrasound and just by looking at the screen she said, "Hallelujah!"
We said, "Can you see it? How do you know?!"
And she turned on the sound and we heard it beat for a few seconds.
Here is the heartbeat on a mini-loop:

112 beats per minute which is right on track and perfect. Then she showed us the screen and we could see the little flicker of the heart actually beating!

This is all overwhelming and so exciting. And she didn't say anything about two heartbeats so I think we are out of twin territory!
I am so happy.
Best day ever.

I said good morning to everyone I passed and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving and a Happy Friday. This was so exciting today to see and hear Blackbird's heart. I love this baby so much already. We are so grateful. This will be the best Thanksgiving yet. We have so much to be thankful for!

So we went out to dinner tonight because I realized we haven't really been out to celebrate since we got the news we were pregnant!!! Unfortunately, we tried a new Mexican place that was really loud where you sit at a table with another couple. Not my fav thing! But the atmosphere eventually died down and we could stop repeating ourselves. We got the menus and instantly became the people on our phones looking up every word.

Can I have steak?

Being pregnant is tough. Eventually I settled on a steak and corn dish with sparkling water, but it was nerve wracking. I know it will get easier with time and by the next baby I'm sure I'll be a pro!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

11/19/14 - Week 6: Sweet Pea

I can't believe today marks six weeks!!!! 

That means Blackbird's little heart is beating and I can't wait to hear it on Friday. 

Today the baby is the size of....

Today I read that my uterus is expanding and already pushing on my bladder. 

Well this would explain why I PEED MYSELF THIS MORNING!!! 
I took the dog out and was in the elevator bending down to pet him and WHOOPS! 
A little pee came out and got on my pants. So much fun! 

And I know this will only get worse as time goes on...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

11/18/14 - Sprinkles Anyone?!

I've been doing well and am feeling excited about Friday - the big heartbeat day. 

I haven't been quite as nervous because I believe in my gut that everything will be fine. 
This is our journey. 
This baby is meant to be. 

And recently I've been craving sweet things. I've been dying for a cupcake since Friday night! Road trip to Sprinkles?!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

11/15/14 - R&R In Santa Barbara

We are spending the weekend in Santa Barbara relaxing with our uncle. It's just what we needed.

We took a walk on the beach this afternoon with our dogs.
Blackbird's first trip to the beach! It was so relaxing and beautiful. The sun was hot and the breeze felt amazing.

I can't wait to take this baby to the beach and introduce it to my favorite place.

Friday, November 14, 2014

11/14/14 - And We're Still Pregnant!

Happy Friday!
We're waiting here at the doctor's office - so excited to make sure everything is fine.

And last night I might have taken another pregnancy test cause I'm INSANE!
At first it only gave a faint line for "positive" and I was like OH GOD I NEVER SHOULD HAVE EVEN TAKEN THIS TEST!
So I left it by my sink and when I came back before bed, it had two definite lines SO WE ARE PREGNANT!

It's still hard to believe but thank God that test was fine!


Just had the appointment and everything looks great! I'm so excited. We even got a picture of this tiny baby that's about a centimeter long. So small!

And my due date isn't 7/10 the doctor said it's 7/15...which is my Mom's birthday! So crazy!
Got my flu shot today for the first time ever! Still can't believe this is happening, but I'm feeling so excited!

Next week: the HEARTBEAT!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

11/12/14 - Week 5: Orange Seed

Oh hi there!
I'm pregnant in case you haven't heard!

It's weird because it's still so early that some days I feel like my body is going through a million changes and some days I feel perfectly normal. That is I feel normal until I stand up and feel light-headed. I read that is because of the increased progesterone in my body and the blood is being sent down to the baby. My body doesn't give a shit about me anymore and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

I'm so excited and a bit anxious about Friday morning and our first ultrasound. I just want to know that everything looks ok and is progressing as it should. So we're just trying to stay positive and enjoy the big news that we are having a baby!

Today the baby is the size of....

We are 5 weeks along today!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

11/9/14 - ICYMI, I'm Pregnant!

Here I am watching football and remembering last Sunday. I was thinking ahead to today and hoping and praying that I would be pregnant. And now I am. It's still hard to believe.

I am so looking forward to Friday to my first ultrasound. Can't wait to see everything (although it's not much just yet) but to hear that everything is ok. I love this baby so much already.

So I just took an at home pregnancy test and ICYMI (in case you missed it), I'm pregnant!!!


That is a moment that I wanted to have - to be able to pee on that stick and have it light up to say PREGNANT. And in less than a minute there it was. I still can't believe it but this made it seem more real.

Before I took the test, I looked to see what the expiration date was. I bought this probably a year or more ago.

It expires 07/2015.
And guess what month the baby's due... Crazy!!!

Tip of the day:
We went to a lovely baby shower today. And I realized that when you carry around a solo cup with a straw and a lime inside, everyone assumes you're drinking vodka! My club soda and lime was delicious! Still can't believe that was so easy. Let's hope I can keep this up, because my friends know how much I love to drink!

Friday, November 7, 2014

11/7/14 - Week 4: Poppy Seed

I just had my blood drawn. I'm feeling a little anxious and just want to know this baby is growing like it should. I can't wait to get the results back! I know everything will be fine...just another mini waiting game!

I've been feeling good. Still in shock that this is happening. I so wanted to be pregnant by Christmas and now I am! I just can't believe it. I'm so excited to hear that heartbeat in two weeks from today.

So today I'm already 4 weeks! (They actually start counting from when you ovulated, so by the time you find out you're pregnant or miss your period, you are already one month in!)
The baby is now the size of a poppy seed!

Here is our tiny baby in comparison with a quarter:

My boobs are definitely hurting more but thank God the nausea hasn't started just yet. I get nauseous sitting in the back seat of a car, so this could be AWFUL!
I'm trying to eat everything healthy and organic that I can.

Blood test update:
I'm so excited I could cry. Got the call. HCG is 426.
I'm pregnant.
Everything is perfect.

The number was 196 and was supposed to go up by 54% but the doctor said it usually doubles. Well it did a little more than that. I'm having a baby. We are having a baby. This is feeling more real!

They didn't mix up my blood with someone else's!
I'm fucking pregnant!!!!!!

We go to the doctor for an ultrasound every week starting next week until I'm 8 weeks along and then I can see a regular OB. We are having a baby!!!!!

About one year ago we started really trying on our own. And it's been a crazy journey after trying to do it ourselves and eventually working with doctors.

We did it. 

My wife worked so hard making her eggs perfect and we got the best embryo from her. 
Then I worked hard getting my body and mind ready and now here we are. 
Finally united. The perfect team. 

We couldn't genetically have a baby together, but this is the closest thing. I'm carrying her biological baby and we are forever connected as a family. 

This is a really special time. I'm still on cloud nine!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

11/6/14 - Baby Blackbird

Two days ago (before I had my pregnancy blood test), I got in the car at work to drive home and pressed play on my iTunes Radio CHILL JAZZ playlist that my wife created for me so I stay calm. This playlist has thousands of songs (if not more) and it randomly picks one to play.
The first one that came on was "Blackbird," a jazz rendition of the Beatles song. I always liked that song and thought "My little blackbird". I called the tiny baby that name just hoping it was still in there. And I thought that was a cute nickname.

Well yesterday when I got to work after my blood test, I had to follow up on some projects in production from a few months ago. I pulled up the first one and I looked at the production company name: Blackbird.
Ok that's weird...

Then I went online for some entertainment news and saw a headline about actors joining a movie called Blackbird. Ok this is definitely weird now! 

Lastly, I had to make a call to one of the studios and the random receptionist who answered stated her name  - which is the name we chose for our baby girl whenever we have one. So all of these signs happened within an hour and were so crazy weird.

I hoped and prayed it was the universe telling me to relax and that everything would be ok. And then my doctor called saying I'm pregnant.
It all worked out. And now we call the baby Blackbird.
Such a sweet song and it's nice to have a nickname as this baby grows :)


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

11/5/14 - THE VOTES ARE IN!

I had my blood drawn and am now anxiously awaiting the doctors call in a few hours. I'm feeling completely nauseous. Nerves I'm sure. I'm ready to know and move on in whatever direction that is. Praying it's a baby direction! Last night I did the meditation tape in the guest room, and I thought I hope we can show the baby this room one day soon.


As it is the day after Election Day, THE VOTES ARE IN:

Omg I'm shaking.
Our doctor and nurse are so excited for us. This is incredible. I feel like I'm in a dream.

My HCG number (what they measure in your blood to see if you're pregnant or not) is 196 and I have to get more blood drawn on Friday in 2 days and the number should go up by 54%. Then a week from Friday is the first ultrasound to see the gestational sac and a week from then is the heartbeat ultrasound!!!!!

So by Thanksgiving this adorable tiny little baby will have a heartbeat and be growing great, I just know it.

By my internet research I think we are due around 7/10 and I want this little baby to know that your moms are so excited to know you're on your way.
This is the best day of our lives!!!!!

Today I wore my bright blue button down shirt and one of my favorite gifts, a flowered scarf from Greece that I thought would be good luck.

After I had my blood draw, the lady taped my arm with blue tape afterwards and said, "Maybe you'll have a boy!" Who knows! We will see if the tarot cards are right! And when I got home my wife was wearing a shirt in the same color blue as me! We didn't even get ready together!

I still can't believe this is happening.  And I keep thinking back to everything that I know helped make this possible.

My APPROVED baby-making list:
1) Meditation tapes - these hands down helped me get pregnant.  They helped my body and mind connect and helped me relax.  I highly recommend CIRCLE AND BLOOM and their tapes for any stage you're in TTC!

2) Acupuncture - this certainly helped with increasing the blood flow and circulation throughout my body.  A warm, happy uterus will help with implantation and I know acupuncture helped get my body prepared.

3) Therapy - I had taken care of my body and needed to take care of my mind!  Therapy works wonders!  It's really fucking hard but dealing with things as they come up is the best gift you can give yourself.

4) Pineapples - after the transfer I ate some pineapples because they supposedly help with implantation - and looks like they did!

5) Bed rest - after the embryo transfer, you are supposed to have 48 hours of bed rest.  I did very strict bed rest with the first transfer and ended up with awful headaches (likely from my caffeine withdrawal) and I focused so much on not moving and laying down that I think it didn't help.  This time, I only stayed home for 1.5 days (because the transfer was in the afternoon) and I did lay down but also watched fun TV and distracted myself.  I didn't make everything about the transfer.  I even did the dishes and made myself lunches, it was nice to just relax but not stay in bed the entire time.

6) Staying positive - this did wonders for me.  It's so easy to think about everything that might go wrong and might not happen and it's hard to stay positive and just have faith.  I know doing this and even talking to the tiny embryo during these days helped it to settle in and know everything would be ok.

7) Warm food for breakfast - my acupuncturist said that in the morning, you need to ignite the pilot light of your body, which is your kidneys.  And your kidneys are responsible for a lot of your hormones and your uterus, etc.  So if you start the day eating cold foods, you won't get that fire going that your body needs to help with circulation, etc.  Every morning I ate either eggs or oatmeal and even added some cinnamon because that helps improve circulation.  It's so important to get your circulation to a good place so the blood flow is moving and the uterus is happy!  Otherwise it will contract and the embryo won't want to settle in there.

8) Warm socks - a huge tip!  We learned this with the first embryo transfer.  They say that warm feet equal a warm uterus.  So every single day from the transfer on, I have been wearing warm winter socks and have kept my feet toasty.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

11/4/14 - One. More. Day.

Feeling anxious today. And everyone is pissing me off! I just want to go home, take a nap and cuddle with my doggie. 

Tomorrow I will know if I'm pregnant or not. Trying to stay optimistic. Hoping all of our hard work has paid off... the meditation tapes, the acupuncture, the therapy, the building of my lining, the hormones! 

Please let this be happening. I'll go home tomorrow after work and either drink a bottle of wine or celebrate. Let's hope it's the latter. It's hard not to think that this might not have worked. I know that's my brain trying to prepare me emotionally for the fact that tomorrow might bring bad news. 

I have no idea what will happen. 
Just praying that tomorrow is the best day of my life. 

Monday, November 3, 2014

11/3/14 - Ignorance Is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss. God that is so true. I have two more full days before I know if I'm pregnant or not. Before I know if all of this hard work paid off and we can finally take a deep breath and celebrate!

So today I'm trying to remain calm and just get through the day so I can go home and watch some Monday night football! And tomorrow I'm sure I'll be more nervous. As much as I hate not knowing, it is even worse to know if the answer isn't what you want.

Right now there is hope. And I'm trying to hold on to that. I'd love to know if the answer is yes, you are having a baby! But 48 hours and all will be known.

Last time we did a transfer by this point I was irritable and craving salty foods, all of which happen before I'm going to get my period. So the fact that none of those things are happening now I must take as a good sign.

Plus the fact that I was nauseous today for all of three minutes. Hoping that's a sign! A good baby sign that there is a tiny little baby inside me. I told Jules I was nauseous today and she said, "You were nauseous?!!!!" She was so excited!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

11/2/14 - 72 Hours And Counting

Happy football Sunday! Really praying that this time next week I'm sitting here snuggled up with my snoring dog and my wife and we know that we have a baby on the way.

After the transfer last time, by now my boobs really hurt and I was showing signs of PMS. This time I feel pretty normal. Just hoping that is a good difference and trying to stay positive.

I have been pretty emotional and even a bit sad for no reason. Likely from all of the hormones I'm on but who knows. These ten days are so hard when you want something so much and have no idea if it's happening or not.

All you can do is try to stay positive.
So that's what we are doing.
72 hours and counting...